Move Down Front

We all know the story of Rosa Parks and her refusal to move her tired feet one more step to the back of the bus. So I’m not going to repeat it here. But what I will do is take a moment to acknowledge how easy it is to grow accustomed to being in the back that when opportunities to hit the front arise, they’re missed.

Usually I sit at the back or on the sides of large gatherings for many reasons but mainly – kids and bathroom. I have my children with me probably 85% of most things that I do so I’m constantly wrangling, shushing and entertaining while trying to glean experiences (church, meetings, dinner, etc). As for the bathroom, well I have two kids, and my moms out there you already know what carrying babies in your body does to one’s bladder, so there’s that.

Last week I attended a leadership and entrepreneurs’ conference. I didn’t have my kids with me; I’d avoided having a lot to drink for the morning so I decided to move up in the room. Not to the front but certainly closer than my usual perch. One of the other attendees looked at me and said, “I’m going to the front. Come on.” I was hesitant, but really there was nothing holding me back except fear, fear of being seen; fear of being held responsible for the view and things that I learned there down front.

Mind you, I’ve always been a bit skeptical of people that show up places late demanding a seat in the front. I’m thinking what makes you so special to head down there late, but maybe I should be asking the other way, why are there still open seats in the front? Shouldn’t we all want to be closer to the flames? Don’t we all deserve an opportunity and access? What does it say about us when we don’t move down front?

On that day, moving down front was just the start of moving outside of my comfort zone. As a result of taking multiple steps different than my normal path, I was rewarded at a greater level than I’d ever experienced. So today I want to you to make a decision to move down front. Is there an area of life where you’ve been sitting in the back for far too long? Drop a comment below. It’s time to move down front in 2018.

Redefining the 4M Lifestyle

One year ago, I embarked on the journey of building a lifestyle brand dedicated to women achieving levels of authenticity in their various life spaces. And like many other things in my life, my consistency waned. I let you down – my blogs were late, and conversations became shorter, then virtually nonexistent, because I couldn’t figure out how to do it all.  I didn’t know how to handle change, growth and success in the competing areas of my life. More importantly, I hadn’t figured out how to advocate for self and say, “Hey folks, I’m drowning a little bit in the midst of it all”.  

As I thought through what I wanted the next year to look like it was apparent that I needed more than a brand to be sustainable. I need support and accountability. Those are the same things that I hear from many of you in our individual conversations and encounters. So the goal here is changing. We are moving from a brand to a community. We are a community of women striving for authentic living in every area of life – that of mates, mommies, moguls and most importantly ME (who we are when all of the other is stripped away). We provide support and accountability to one another as we continue the journey to authenticity.

The goals for the 2nd year of the 4MLifestyle are to provide:

1.       Consistency – I’m recommitting to having “Live” conversations with you. Screaming kids in the background and all if necessary, because that’s what my life looks like right now. The same for blogs – I want you guys to read what I write, good, bad and indifferent. Writing is a part of who I am, our opinions may differ but that’s part of what makes us grow and be amazing.

2.       Resources and Support – Over the last year, I’ve sprinkled in a few articles and videos here and there. But I want to include more of these resources, even if just for a laugh, to remind you that you are not alone on your journey.

3.       Community – Keyboard courage and social media sometimes interfere with our ability to really connect. I desire for us to get to know one another on a deeper level. If we work together, we can define what support looks like for each of us on our individual journeys and create a safe space for authentic living.

4.       Accountability – We all have dreams and goals, even if we’ve never shared them. Part of authentic living means going after those goals. We’re here to help each other achieve them, even if it’s a simple reminder to “just keep going”.

So Happy Anniversary 4Ms! Will you continue to join me on the journey to building a community of authentic living in every area of our lives?

Just 10 Minutes to Boost Your Business Savvy

The holidays are focused a lot on gift giving. Why not give the give of improvement to yourself? Whether you are a homemaker, a corporate employee or an entrepreneur, there are ways that you can improve taking care of your business. In just 10 minutes per day, you can become better than you were yesterday. Here are a few suggestions:

1.       Read a white paper, journal, article or blog on your area

2.       Identify new goals and compose an action plan

3.       Connect with a mentor in the field

4.       Enroll in a course

What ways do you stay up on your game in your area of service?

Just 10 Minutes to Clear the Clutter

Okay, true confession: I live a cluttered life. While I would love to have a clutter free life space, I don’t.  The holidays seem to complicate things a bit more especially as I stash gifts and try to make room for guests. When I try to tackle large chunks, I fail miserably. So my tip for you in clearing the clutter is one that works for me (when I use it consistently):

-          10 Minute Tidy – Choose a room (or section depending on the amount of clutter) and set a timer for 10 minutes. During that time, focus only on clearing that space of the clutter. Repeat daily in various areas of your home/office until you’re clutter free.

-          As a bonus, start with the area that you dread working on first.

How do you maintain cleanliness around and through the holidays?

Just 10 Minutes to Connect with Your Kids

Between school parties, Christmas concerts and other festivities the holidays bring a sense of running to life. It’s important to slow the pace to connect with the kids.  I find that choosing things that don’t emphasize commercial capitalism helps me unplug a little from the rat race. Here are some of the things on our list.

1.       Dance to holiday tunes (or ratchet ones that make you all smile).

2.       Drink a cup of hot chocolate while chatting.

3.       Suggest and create holiday traditions for your family.

4.       Color a picture.

5.       Make holiday cards.

6.       Play a silly game.

7.       Read a book!

What do you and your kids do to connect during the holidays?

Just 10 Minutes to Connect with Your Spouse

The holidays come fast and furious from work, to family to everything else in between. We find ourselves in close quarters with our spouses because suddenly we have time off. Or we’re the opposite and find ourselves detached working overtime trying to close out the year or running to complete tasks for holiday commitments. Regardless of your positioning, it is imperative that you take 10 minutes per day to connect with your spouse in the haste and hurry of the holidays. Here are some things to try:

1.       Send a text or message (not related to tasks/honey do lists).

2.       Write a quick gratitude list.

3.       Dance to your favorite holiday tunes.

4.       Share a devotional.

5.       Watch a television show, YouTube video or quirky commercial. Shower together (that’s uninterrupted talk time AND you’re getting clean, because efficiency).

6.       Walk or ride around the neighborhood.

What’s on your list?

Just 10 Minutes to Improve Your Mood Daily

10 Minutes to Improve Your Mood Daily

With holiday commitments, it’s easy to over look self for the “care” of others. But in all actuality, we often end up more burnt out than before. Taking 10 minutes to improve yourself each day is a wonderful gift that you (and those that have to deal with you) will appreciate greatly. Here are the things that fill my 10 minutes:

1.       Pray/Affirm positive things for yourself.

2.       Intentionally choose peace & joy as your companions.

3.       Write down one thing/one sentence that you are grateful for each day.

4.       Read something that has nothing to do with work (or politics, or parenting, or anything stressful).

5.       Watch/listen to something funny and allow yourself to laugh.

6.       Wear something that makes you feel GREAT.

7.       Move your body (walk, stretch, dance, whatever).

Do these things EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. You’ll be thankful you did.

Just 10 Minutes Holiday Series

If you’re like me, December marks the “Really?/OMG/WTF?!” period of life when calendars collide, finances flurry and the to do list seems never ending. Most importantly free time seems scarce even though there are holidays and corresponding time off. With that in mind, I’ve aimed this month’s posts on 10 minutes of reality. 

Join the conversation by checking out the entire Just 10 Minutes series:

Improving Your Mood

Connecting with Your Spouse

Connecting with Your Kids

Clear the Clutter

Boost Your Business Savvy

Setting & Continuing Thanksgiving Traditions

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday! I love the great food with unrestricted access. LOL. As a kid, I always wanted to have the movie worthy Thanksgiving celebration, but found that sometimes (most times) real life didn’t work quite that way. Instead, families and friends create their own traditions. Years ago my family introduced a giant Thanksgiving breakfast to “tide us over” until the feast later in the day. It’s one of the things I’ve tried to maintain for my children – making sure there is a huge time of gathering early in the day before all of the guests, visiting and festivities begin to happen. Other traditions for our family include the preparation of many pieces of the meal in the days before Thanksgiving Day. We play games and watch movies after the meal and circle back for ham and pound cake later in the evening. Sweet potato pie and leftover dressing become acceptable breakfast choices in the days that follow. While it may not be like on tv, it is certainly something that we can call ours. More than that, it’s creating memories that my children will have to either continue, add to, or change all together. But it gives them somewhere to start.

What Thanksgiving traditions do you share with your children?

Relational Gratitude

As time passes, it’s easy to become content in where you are and what you have. I find this to be especially true in marriage. As we enter the season of Thanksgiving and holiday celebration, I try to be mindful of this, not just from the perspective of “happy to have him” but really from the place of growth and experience together. I try to focus in on the little things that I am grateful for regarding my relationship with my husband. I work towards being especially mindful of the things that I may overlook or take for granted on a regular basis. This allows me to serve, prepare and engage in the season from a place of love and gratitude.

Many years ago, before we were married, he asked me to take one of my off days during the week of Thanksgiving to help his mother prep for the holiday. I was NOT interested, for many reasons. But I did it because he asked me to. The day turned out better than I anticipated if for no other reason than the joy and gratitude that he expressed for me taking that time with his mom.

What I’m learning more and more is that when there is a foundation of genuine gratitude and appreciation, relationships thrive. Yes, love is important, but it’s not the whole. Thanksgiving says “I see you”, “I recognize your efforts”, “I appreciate your engagement”. Nothing says love like a great big “Thank You”.

When was the last time that you expressed gratitude and thanksgiving to and for your spouse?