Redefining the 4M Lifestyle

One year ago, I embarked on the journey of building a lifestyle brand dedicated to women achieving levels of authenticity in their various life spaces. And like many other things in my life, my consistency waned. I let you down – my blogs were late, and conversations became shorter, then virtually nonexistent, because I couldn’t figure out how to do it all.  I didn’t know how to handle change, growth and success in the competing areas of my life. More importantly, I hadn’t figured out how to advocate for self and say, “Hey folks, I’m drowning a little bit in the midst of it all”.  

As I thought through what I wanted the next year to look like it was apparent that I needed more than a brand to be sustainable. I need support and accountability. Those are the same things that I hear from many of you in our individual conversations and encounters. So the goal here is changing. We are moving from a brand to a community. We are a community of women striving for authentic living in every area of life – that of mates, mommies, moguls and most importantly ME (who we are when all of the other is stripped away). We provide support and accountability to one another as we continue the journey to authenticity.

The goals for the 2nd year of the 4MLifestyle are to provide:

1.       Consistency – I’m recommitting to having “Live” conversations with you. Screaming kids in the background and all if necessary, because that’s what my life looks like right now. The same for blogs – I want you guys to read what I write, good, bad and indifferent. Writing is a part of who I am, our opinions may differ but that’s part of what makes us grow and be amazing.

2.       Resources and Support – Over the last year, I’ve sprinkled in a few articles and videos here and there. But I want to include more of these resources, even if just for a laugh, to remind you that you are not alone on your journey.

3.       Community – Keyboard courage and social media sometimes interfere with our ability to really connect. I desire for us to get to know one another on a deeper level. If we work together, we can define what support looks like for each of us on our individual journeys and create a safe space for authentic living.

4.       Accountability – We all have dreams and goals, even if we’ve never shared them. Part of authentic living means going after those goals. We’re here to help each other achieve them, even if it’s a simple reminder to “just keep going”.

So Happy Anniversary 4Ms! Will you continue to join me on the journey to building a community of authentic living in every area of our lives?

Just 10 Minutes to Boost Your Business Savvy

The holidays are focused a lot on gift giving. Why not give the give of improvement to yourself? Whether you are a homemaker, a corporate employee or an entrepreneur, there are ways that you can improve taking care of your business. In just 10 minutes per day, you can become better than you were yesterday. Here are a few suggestions:

1.       Read a white paper, journal, article or blog on your area

2.       Identify new goals and compose an action plan

3.       Connect with a mentor in the field

4.       Enroll in a course

What ways do you stay up on your game in your area of service?

Setting Client Expectations & Boundaries

Working for a corporation there are already rules in place for how business is done. However, in working for self, you are the one responsible for setting said rules. As an entrepreneur, setting clear expectations and boundaries with clients is the primary way to eliminate misunderstandings and stress. This is something that I have struggled with in the past, especially if the client was a friend or family member. I thought it would be great to share what I’ve learned thus far.

1.       Set expectations up front. It is very important that you speak with your clients about their expectations of you. Likewise, you should share your expectations of them as a client. These expectations should cover things like when and how you will communicate. Your expectations should also include payment terms and deadlines. Setting these expectations up front will mitigate the challenges that arise with uncommunicated and unmet expectations.

2.       Define a beginning and end. When setting up your work with a client, it is important that you identify a specific beginning and ending. We will begin the project on specific date. The project will be considered complete on a specific date or once specific deliverable has been completed. Doing this eliminates lingering projects and frees up your time for additional project work later.

3.       Use the word “No”. Somehow, we have gained the notion that saying no in business is bad. We over extend ourselves or commit to things that we really had no interest in or business doing in the first place. Many times the frustrations that come with our client interactions could have been avoided altogether with a simple no. 

4.       Accept that you may not be able to work with everyone. Yes, you want to help your cousin. Yes, your cousin needs the help. No, you may not be the best source of assistance for your cousin. Be okay with knowing that your family and friends may not be your clients. Also recognize that you are not for everyone and everyone is not for you. Recognizing this helps you to stay in your lane and keep your personal relationships intact.

I will admit, these did not come easy or quickly for me. In fact, I continue to evolve in these areas. I have to define what the boundaries are that serve the contexts of my work and desired outcomes. What I have realized is that I offer better customer service and have more productive outcomes for my clients when the boundaries and expectations are clear.

How do you set expectations and boundaries with your clients?

3 Things I Learned Working with My Mate

Earlier this month, I accepted a freelance writing project from the Hubby. For years I’d been saying we should work together, let me work for you, how can I help you in your entrepreneurial endeavors – and none of those things panned out. However, this time, what he needed was exactly in my wheelhouse. Before I continue, let me put a few things out there: 1- I KNOW he’s an incredible business man (he closes million-dollar deals regularly); 2- Both of us have Masters in Business so we know our stuff; 3 – Our perspectives on business are very much shaped by our own personal experiences (me – education, arts, nonprofit; him – entertainment, corporate). In all of that, I still learned a few things in my encounter with him.

1.       Setting clear expectations to begin with eliminates heartache. In working with my spouse I think the pressure was on to perform well. That’s hard when it’s arbitrary. We started our work together with clear expectations on the project.  Some of the language that was used in our conversations:

a.       This is what needs to be done by this particular date.

b.       When it is completed, I expect the finished product to be…

c.       I will provide updates on the project at the following intervals...

d.       I need your attention to the following details for finalization…

And it worked! Yes, it was formal, but it worked so much better that way. It really was black and white for us.

2.       I am worth my rate. He asked me how much the project would be up front. I told him my typical rate and payment terms, and he didn’t bat an eye. He didn’t ask for a family discount or payment plan. In his eyes, business is business. That spoke volumes to me! Moreover, when the project was completed, I didn’t have to resend an invoice, ask or throw hints. He paid me!

3.       I have to know and respect my limitations. At the end of the project potential for more work came through him. However, that next project would have demanded more of my attention and require us to work a little more closely with him and his client. I had to respectfully decline the offer and provide an alternative resource for him to consider. Guess what? That worked too! There were no hard feelings and more work will come.

Now these may not seem like big deals to you, but they were major to me. It allowed me to see my spouse in the way that others see him. As well, it allowed him to see the back and front end of the way that I do business. As a result, I think that we have better understanding of one another. I can appreciate the work he does from another angle and vice versa.

Have you worked with your spouse or another close family member? What was your experience?

7 Tips Towards a Mogul Mindset

“As we think, so are we…”

No truer words have been spoken. What and how we think essentially becomes us. The power of our thoughts influences our speech and our speech creates our world. When is the last time that you did an assessment of your thought process? Does what and how you’re thinking align with what you are seeing in your life? Let’s go a step further: do your thinking habits align with where you’d like to see yourself? In order to develop the mogul lifestyle, we must develop a mogul mindset. By definition, a mogul is an important person with great wealth or power (Cambridge Dictionary -online). Other definitions also include talk of influence. It takes a certain mindset to successfully manage wealth and power.

1.       Get Organized. In order to be effective and influential, there has to be a method to your madness. The more you are organized, the greater your chances of achieving your desired results. You’ll also be able to communicate your ideas better to others.

2.       Believe in yourself. No one else’s belief in you can be greater than that in yourself. There’s not enough motivation in that. If you are not “confident in your competence” then others won’t be either. So go, take a look in the mirror and say “Self, you’ve got this!”.

3.       Shift away from the employee mindset. You’ve got to think like the boss to be the boss, even if you’re not the boss. Employees see their piece of the puzzle where bosses have the full picture in view. The decisions are made based on the panoramic views, not on snapshots.

4.       Be willing to lose sleep.  In being a mogul, you must be willing to lose sleep and make other sacrifices. Remember, that for every yes, you’re saying no to something else. It’s all about making the right trade-off to achieve your goals and still honor your values.

5.       Don’t be afraid to travel some parts of the path alone. Often times the path to success looks very different than those around you. Don’t shrink back from that. Just light your torch and keep moving forward. In order to make a significant impact it may require you to do something unorthodox or unheard of. 

6.       Network and partner strategically. Many times success is not about what you know but more about WHO you know. With this in mind, it is important that you make connections strategically. Every introduction, handshake and electronic information exchange could be the one relationship that you need to achieve your next level of accomplishment. As you’re building, think through the types of people you need on your team and the assets you bring to teams you serve.

7.       Think in terms of scalability and succession. Don’t limit the extent of your success. Instead, work towards ideas and activities that can be scaled larger. Look at the growth potential and pursue those angles rather than those that will likely plateau.  Likewise, don’t dive into your work believing that you can and will be the only one that does it. Plan to grow, train and transfer the elbow-deep details. I’m sure you’ll want to travel and reap the benefits of your efforts. You will also want to leave a legacy behind once you’re gone. You can’t do that if you don’t grow or have a succession plan.

Becoming a mogul starts in the mind. What are you thinking on?

So Many Moving Parts: 10 Ways to Maintain

As a woman, life is often comprised of many moving parts. As a woman in business, of any kind, the number of parts increases exponentially. The sum of all of the moving parts is a machine that accomplishes a goal or completes a task. In order to handle all of those parts successfully it is important to be really clear about the purpose of the machine. You must also be aware of the maintenance necessary to keep the machine operating at its optimum level. Here are a few thoughts that have resonated with me as I maintain the moving parts of being a mogul.

1.       Set specific goals.

2.       Be intentional with every effort.

3.       Stay true to YOUR vision.

4.       Be attentive to the details.

5.       Do not get distracted by the non-essential details.

6.       Do only the things that are essential to the progress of your vision.

7.       Identify areas where you can and should delegate.

8.       Schedule your priorities instead of prioritizing a to-do list.

9.       Consider the impact of your “yes” and “no”.

10.   Stay the course and adjust as necessary.

BONUS: Don’t be afraid to scrap what doesn’t work.

Being a mogul happens in many forms and presents a different evolution for everyone. While some people’s efforts are concentrated in one space, there are others whose hands are extended in several different directions. However, the mindset is still the same.

But Do I Love It? Questions for Choosing Your Work

Love is a driving factor for many things we do, even the bad choices we make. Those crimes of passion highlighted on dramatic television often include someone who at one point was in love. What would happen if we took that same love and poured it into our businesses and the work that we do day to day? We’ve all heard it before that if we do what we love the money will come. Well that’s true, sort of…

The truth is we must identify what we love and are passionate about then evaluate how it translates to others. What question does what we do answer for them? What problem does our solution solve for them? Once we have a strong understanding of that, we can then use our love to labor at it. Whether you’re in business for yourself, aspiring to be or content as an employee, I want you to love what you do. I want you to wake up daily prepared to fulfill your purpose for that day. I want you to love and own the space that you’re in so much that you can’t help but perform well in your efforts. As we become more consistent in putting our hands to work, our efforts compound yielding the financial rewards. That’s how it works. We work “it” [insert whatever your “it” is] until “it” works for us. Then we do it again and experience growth. After the novelty wears off, sometimes that working gets tiring. It gets mundane. It becomes less than likeable. But like a relationship, we have to determine if we really love it, or if we’re just infatuated. Once we know it’s love then we can continue working knowing that every day won’t be an easy likeable day, but every day is a love day worth working for. Here are some questions to ask in determining your love for “it”

1.       What gets me excited about it?

a.       Is the enthusiasm sustainable, a fad, or likely to turn into something that I hate or tires me out later?

2.       What don’t I like about it?

a.       Can I live with those things knowing that they’ll be a part of the process?

3.       If the money is slow to come, am I willing to be consistent and patient enough to see results?

4.       Is there longevity, stability and scalability in what I’m doing?

a.       Am I capable of the maintenance required?

5.       Does the work align with my core values and beliefs?

6.       Does the outcome of my effort help someone else?