Redefining the 4M Lifestyle

One year ago, I embarked on the journey of building a lifestyle brand dedicated to women achieving levels of authenticity in their various life spaces. And like many other things in my life, my consistency waned. I let you down – my blogs were late, and conversations became shorter, then virtually nonexistent, because I couldn’t figure out how to do it all.  I didn’t know how to handle change, growth and success in the competing areas of my life. More importantly, I hadn’t figured out how to advocate for self and say, “Hey folks, I’m drowning a little bit in the midst of it all”.  

As I thought through what I wanted the next year to look like it was apparent that I needed more than a brand to be sustainable. I need support and accountability. Those are the same things that I hear from many of you in our individual conversations and encounters. So the goal here is changing. We are moving from a brand to a community. We are a community of women striving for authentic living in every area of life – that of mates, mommies, moguls and most importantly ME (who we are when all of the other is stripped away). We provide support and accountability to one another as we continue the journey to authenticity.

The goals for the 2nd year of the 4MLifestyle are to provide:

1.       Consistency – I’m recommitting to having “Live” conversations with you. Screaming kids in the background and all if necessary, because that’s what my life looks like right now. The same for blogs – I want you guys to read what I write, good, bad and indifferent. Writing is a part of who I am, our opinions may differ but that’s part of what makes us grow and be amazing.

2.       Resources and Support – Over the last year, I’ve sprinkled in a few articles and videos here and there. But I want to include more of these resources, even if just for a laugh, to remind you that you are not alone on your journey.

3.       Community – Keyboard courage and social media sometimes interfere with our ability to really connect. I desire for us to get to know one another on a deeper level. If we work together, we can define what support looks like for each of us on our individual journeys and create a safe space for authentic living.

4.       Accountability – We all have dreams and goals, even if we’ve never shared them. Part of authentic living means going after those goals. We’re here to help each other achieve them, even if it’s a simple reminder to “just keep going”.

So Happy Anniversary 4Ms! Will you continue to join me on the journey to building a community of authentic living in every area of our lives?

Thankful for Me

A couple of months ago I heard a radio host ask what is the best thing about ourselves. I realized in that moment that it can become entirely too easy to focus on the things that aren’t so great. And those are the things that we spend our time, money and energy on. We pray “God fix this… Help me with…”.  We invest in courses, read books and join groups to help us fix what’s wrong. Now I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with becoming a better version of yourself or strengthening areas of weakness. But what would happen if we temporarily exchanged our “fix-it” mentality for a “thankful for it” outlook?

This month is when our focus is on Thanksgiving. Many of us gather with family and friends and list off the things we are grateful for: life, family, food, clothes, housing, etc. How many times have you just had a moment of gratitude for who and how you are? Have you ever dared to thank your creator for all of the good things about yourself? Even further, have you ever been bold enough to offer the good parts of yourself back to Him for His use? Changing your prayer from “Lord, this is broken, fix it soon. Amen” to “Lord I am grateful for the gift of a beautiful smile. May you be pleased with use of my smile as I encounter people today.”

I know it seems almost too simple, but imagine hearing all of the good things you’ve done listed off. To a creator, seeing your hard work is a great reward.  We’ve talked about Bliss Lists in relationships, but what about a Gratitude List for self and all of the things that make you wonderful.

Take some time today and list out ALL of the things that make you amazing. What are the things about yourself that you’re grateful for? Maybe you’re resilient, creative and kind. Perhaps you have a keen business sense, mathematical mind or a knack for organizing chaos. Take that list and create a Prayer of Thanksgiving for all of the things that make you, YOU.

Maintaining Me: A Checklist for Self-Care

The last few weeks have been overwhelming to say the least. I’ve found myself rocking in anxiety both due to internal and external factors. As I began to get my bearings together I have been reminded of the necessity of maintaining me. There are certain things that I must do to ensure my well-being prior to juggling all of the other things that I am responsible for.

Yesterday, I heard someone saying that we as individuals must make sure that we are getting our regular maintenance, like cars. And I began to think about what that maintenance would look like for me. Ironically enough when I opened my planner to grab today’s post topic, it was on Maintaining Me. Maybe not so ironic as it is divine. 😊 

The end of the year is rapidly approaching so the time for maintenance

Here’s my 10-point maintenance checklist:

·         What is my general mood and disposition lately?

·         When was the last time I had scheduled, uninterrupted me time?

·         When was the last time I did a personal Bible study?

·         When was the last time I connected with hubby without the kids?

·         When was the last time I connected with family and friends, outside of the context of obligations?

·         What was the last thing I did for self-improvement and the pursuit of higher knowledge?

·         How long has it been since I unplugged from social media and connected with real people?

·         What was the last hobby or personal interest I’ve pursued?

·         When was my most recent physical activity?

·         Where have I been outside my daily travel route?

When I have a hard time remembering or there has been a long time has passed, I know that that particular area likely needs maintenance. It may in fact already be broken. What is your maintenance routine? What would you add to this checklist?

7 Tips Towards a Mogul Mindset

“As we think, so are we…”

No truer words have been spoken. What and how we think essentially becomes us. The power of our thoughts influences our speech and our speech creates our world. When is the last time that you did an assessment of your thought process? Does what and how you’re thinking align with what you are seeing in your life? Let’s go a step further: do your thinking habits align with where you’d like to see yourself? In order to develop the mogul lifestyle, we must develop a mogul mindset. By definition, a mogul is an important person with great wealth or power (Cambridge Dictionary -online). Other definitions also include talk of influence. It takes a certain mindset to successfully manage wealth and power.

1.       Get Organized. In order to be effective and influential, there has to be a method to your madness. The more you are organized, the greater your chances of achieving your desired results. You’ll also be able to communicate your ideas better to others.

2.       Believe in yourself. No one else’s belief in you can be greater than that in yourself. There’s not enough motivation in that. If you are not “confident in your competence” then others won’t be either. So go, take a look in the mirror and say “Self, you’ve got this!”.

3.       Shift away from the employee mindset. You’ve got to think like the boss to be the boss, even if you’re not the boss. Employees see their piece of the puzzle where bosses have the full picture in view. The decisions are made based on the panoramic views, not on snapshots.

4.       Be willing to lose sleep.  In being a mogul, you must be willing to lose sleep and make other sacrifices. Remember, that for every yes, you’re saying no to something else. It’s all about making the right trade-off to achieve your goals and still honor your values.

5.       Don’t be afraid to travel some parts of the path alone. Often times the path to success looks very different than those around you. Don’t shrink back from that. Just light your torch and keep moving forward. In order to make a significant impact it may require you to do something unorthodox or unheard of. 

6.       Network and partner strategically. Many times success is not about what you know but more about WHO you know. With this in mind, it is important that you make connections strategically. Every introduction, handshake and electronic information exchange could be the one relationship that you need to achieve your next level of accomplishment. As you’re building, think through the types of people you need on your team and the assets you bring to teams you serve.

7.       Think in terms of scalability and succession. Don’t limit the extent of your success. Instead, work towards ideas and activities that can be scaled larger. Look at the growth potential and pursue those angles rather than those that will likely plateau.  Likewise, don’t dive into your work believing that you can and will be the only one that does it. Plan to grow, train and transfer the elbow-deep details. I’m sure you’ll want to travel and reap the benefits of your efforts. You will also want to leave a legacy behind once you’re gone. You can’t do that if you don’t grow or have a succession plan.

Becoming a mogul starts in the mind. What are you thinking on?